Taylor Street Publishing, i.e. Kathleen and Tim Hewtson, have taken to some pretty slimy tactics to retaliate against me. They're mad that I made them pull my book, and they're mad that I publicly admonished them for being the con artists that they are. Now an image is circulating around the web claiming that they chose to pull my book over plagiarism, among some other far out claims. You can look at the image on this blog. Basically, this is the claim they made to get my book removed from Amazon, but Amazon only pulled the book based on the contractual dispute between us. In other words, neither one of us could prove -- with an attorney -- whether the contract was valid or not. So the title was removed from Amazon and barred from being published by either me or Taylor Street, for now.

Let me quickly explain that all one needs to do is Google Taylor Street Publishing, Kathleen Hewtson or  Tim Hewtson and you will learn immediately that these two owe a lot of writers a lot of money. They've ripped off multiple writers, including me. They're criminals, plain and simple.

Over the course of my time collaborating with Kathleen, she never wanted to talk in email. I had to fight to get her to do business in writing. She always insisted on phone conversations. I now figure this was to protect herself. Unfortunately for her, I have plenty of emails that prove she and Tim are lying con artists who are now trying to smear my name as retaliation for exposing their criminal behavior. If you haven't read all of my posts about these people, the emails may not make much sense to you, so I recommend searching on the blog for the rest of the posts to catch you up to speed.

First of all, here is the most important email (pictured below). As you can see, they agreed to pull my book and revert my rights back to me in late 2013.
The book was quickly removed from Amazon, but Kathleen and Tim republished it two days later and pretended that this agreement never took place. They even tried to alter the agreement once by claiming that I wouldn't get my rights back until 2015. They later tried to claim that these messages were faked. Of course I forwarded all of their own emails back to them and they eventually stopped responding to my emails once they realized they weren't getting out of this.

Note that she claims she is only in promotions, but she tells Amazon that she is the CEO of this fake publishing co.

FYI: I didn't retaliate against a negative review. It was brought to my attention that someone who trolled the page with a negative review had also reviewed sex toys and 50 Shades of Grey. This was something we all laughed about on my personal social media page.

My domestic violence story was just one of the 1.3 million (annual) cases, but it's one that shaped who I am today and pointed me onto the many paths I've taken in my life to get to where I currently am. It's a story that I've only penned one time -- and that was to a judge in Arizona  (I'll explain that later). So I guess this is the first time I've ever told the story on a mass level. Before I get into it, I must warn all of my readers that this story may contain 'triggers' which may inflame PTSD in survivors of domestic violence. So you've been warned. **Names have been changed**

    I met "Johnny" when I had just turned 19-years-old. His dad "John Sr." moved up to the mountains with "Johnny" and his little brother "Carl," and they were becoming friendly with others who lived in the area -- which included my family and neighbors. "Johnny" was close in age to me -- 22, I believe -- and on the mountain, where we lived in the wilderness far removed from society, that was a rare find. So naturally in my boy-crazy way, I began a sexual relationship with "Johnny" that quickly turned into a more serious relationship. Within a couple of months the two of us were living together on a piece of property his father was buying. In the first handful of weeks of our relationship, everything was fine. We had a couple of acres of land. I had my dog, and we had numerous chickens and ducks. You know, the makings of that "American dream," I guess.

That all changed when his father decided we were all moving to Winslow -- several hours away from where I had known to be my home. I've lived all over Arizona, but at the time I was not familiar with Winslow, so I was like a fish out of water and dependent on both "John Sr.," and his son -- whom I had discovered suffered from clinical schizophrenia, and he was on medication for it. The medication kept him stable, and at the time I didn't fully understand what it was like to live with someone who suffers with this mental illness, so I was naive.

We lived out in the middle of nowhere -- which was something I was used to, but this time I did not have any of my loved ones within reasonable distance to reach out to when I needed them. I was fully dependent on these two men, which was not a good thing. It was during this time -- that I was removed from the lives of my loved ones -- "Johnny" decided to stop taking his medication -- which caused him to act strangely, and say strange things. His father also decided that we didn't need to "live on the grid," and he kept our home without electricity, plumbing or running water -- save for the occasional gallon of gas for his "generator" or poorly charged deep cycle batteries that ran on a power inverter (This needs to be clarified for those of you who are not aware of how people "live off the grid" in the U.S.). For a "septic," he dug a hole beneath the home (a 5th wheel trailer) and expected our waste to go into it. He also kept the home devoid of food. "Johnny" and I lived off of potatoes and eggs while "John Sr." spent most of his time a handful of miles away at his sister's where he would eat regular meals and sit in air conditioning while watching cable television.

"Johnny's" mental state slipped drastically within weeks of stopping his schizophrenia medication. He went from making odd statements ( such as laughing about rape and violence) to actually being violent. He would push/shove me any chance he could, sometimes causing me to fall in the dirt in the hot Arizona terrain where we lived "off the grid." There were times that he would kick me, or punch me in the ribs.  There were times that he'd pull my hair as I was stepping up into the home we shared, only to fall out onto my ass -- which would make him laugh. Sometimes he would sit next to me on our couch, and he would pinch me on my arms and legs -- just hard enough to hurt and bruise me. One of the worst days of abuse came when I was trimming my split ends in the little bathroom of the trailer we shared out in the middle of nowhere. I can't remember what I said to "Johnny," that angered him. I really can't. It's been over a decade, and even though I'm scarred, there are some memories of those days that falter and fade. Anyway, he had a handheld clipper/shaver plugged into the wall where it rested on the back of the bathroom counter(we sometimes used a gas powered generator and "camp showers" for hygiene purposes, hooked onto the 5th wheel trailer). He grabbed it and stuck it to the side of my head, running it up the side. This shaved off half of the hair on my head, leaving me with no choice but to shave my head all over -- something that took nearly a year to grow back. Even several months after I had left the guy, I was forced to remember him by looking in the mirror and seeing my hair -- which had once been thick, red and down my back -- cut short in a buzz cut.

I hit my boiling point one day. Again, I can't remember what caused his outburst, but he slapped me in the face and kicked my dog when she barked at him. I had endured over nine months of abuse, of senseless behavior. I didn't know what to do, stuck out in the middle of nowhere, no phone, no electricity, no way to separate myself from the situation in which I suffered. I flung a heavy glass ashtray at him, missing his face by just a hair. I punched him -- in the chest I believe -- and then grabbed his dust-covered VCR from the entertainment unit that we never used, and I walloped him upside the head with it. It all happened in just a flicker of a moment, but seemed to go by in slow motion. I was in a rage after being hit, pushed, abused emotionally and physically, coerced into sex that I didn't want to have and then seeing him physically injure my dog -- who had only just recovered after being shot by some trigger happy moron who lived near us out in the middle of nowhere. I loved my dog, and I hated him. I hated him with everything in me, and I wanted to hurt him like he hurt me.

I got what I wanted. I hurt him, but not so bad that he couldn't leave our house -- which was something I was absolutely thankful for. He never expected me to fight back because he was nothing more than a coward and a bully. I was glad he left, and hoped that he walked the couple of miles to where his father was so they could return and I could demand that my shit be packed up and I be taken back to my family several hours away from the hellhole I was in. Less than an hour later, I was greeted by police cruisers.

"Johnny" turned me in for assaulting him.

His cowardice knew no boundaries. The police had no choice, and even told me as they arrested me, noting that I was covered in bruises that were in various stages of healing (bruises that he had inflicted upon me over a course of a handful of months). He was the one who called the police, not I. Had I been the one who filed the report for all of the pain he caused me, he would have been the ones being cuffed and hauled to jail. I stayed in jail overnight -- was released on my own recognizance and given a court date. I then had to hitchhike for a half hour to get back to the property -- where my dog had been chained up for 24 hours without food or water in the hot Arizona sun. I was ready to leave, prepared to pack my belongings, take my dog and just hitchhike back home where we would be safe.

There was a problem with that plan, however, and that problem was "John Sr." He was a brute of a man and was very blunt when he told me that I would be staying with his son. He told me that when my court date came he would be the one taking me to appear before the judge. He told me that I would plea guilty, and that I would never tell what his son had done to me and my dog. He told me that his son "would never go to jail," over me, and that I would never take him away.

And if I wouldn't obey his instructions: 

"John Sr." told me clearly and explicitly that he would shoot me in the head and stuff my body into a barrel of acid, which would be thrown into either the Salt River or another body of water. He promised me that he'd done it before, and that my body would be dissolved to nothing but jelly long before anyone would find the barrel. He promised me that this would be my fate if I ever told anyone what happened between me and his son.

Again, I was only 19-years-old. He terrified me. I obeyed just as he demanded, and when my court date came by, I entered a plea of 'no contest' and repeated that I had hormonal issues (as John Sr. directed). The judge eyeballed me and gave me a light sentence -- 12 visits with a shrink for "anger management" (which I completed) and a $100.00 fine. The charge was nothing more than a 2nd degree misdemeanor of simple assault (instead of something far worse). I was never able to pay  that fine -- only managed to pay $20.00 of it. But I did get away from "John Sr." and "Johnny." They were satisfied that "Johnny" wouldn't be getting in any trouble for his abusive behavior, so it wasn't an issue for me and my dog to be returned to my family where I could finally get away from both of them. As soon as I returned home I began writing down everything that happened to me, in very graphic detail. I penned the statement -- which was several pages long -- and I mailed it to the judge who took my coerced plea of 'no contest.'

She chose to ignore it, but told me directly in a telephone call to "leave Arizona," so nothing would happen to me for refusing to pay my fine. I felt victimized again, and it hurt even more so that the judge was a woman -- someone who I expected to have sympathy and understanding for victims of domestic violence and coercion. I was forced to enter a plea that was not honest, I was forced under threats of my own murder and gruesome bodily disposal by someone who told me that he had done it before. The judge chose to ignore this, telling me that I should have had the strength to tell her this in open court (as my abuser and his father stood behind me, my dog in their possession back at their home). It became apparent to me that this judge had not only no compassion for victims of domestic abuse, but she didn't even understand what level of fear many of us live under. She didn't understand why I was so easily coerced into lying in court.

Now, over a decade later, I am free of "Johnny," but not the memories of what he did to me. I also suffer with the fact that I can never safely enter my home state unless I pay a fine that I shouldn't have to pay. I refuse to pay it. It's simply another slap in the face on top of the many that my abuser dealt me. Paying that fine would only give "John Sr." and his son the power that they had over me in the past. It would only acknowledge that I was not "strong enough" to speak out in open court as they breathed down the back of my neck. I shouldn't have had to be "strong enough." I shouldn't have ever been in that situation, but no woman expects to be sucked into a life of violence and pain and heartbreak when they are stupid, young and looking for romance.

This is just my story of domestic violence, but it's a story that I've lived -- and again, it's a story that shaped my life and who I am today. I'm a stronger person now because of the lessons I've learned -- that misogyny and domestic violence are acceptable in Arizona, as long as you know how to get away with it, and that battered women are not given the help they deserve in our horribly broken system. I've learned a lot since those days, but I've held it all inside until this post. Of course there are a lot of specific/graphic details that I am choosing to keep to myself, but this is it in a nutshell.

I'm a survivor. One of the millions.

Nobody is responsible for our own happiness, but ourselves. That's a phrase that I've always heard and I've even repeated without giving much thought, simply reciting the words in order. Even though I felt like I knew what this mantra meant, I never really did until quite recently. It was like an epiphany: I'm really the only person responsible for my own happiness -- and ultimately, I'm responsible for my own unhappiness because I've allowed so much negativity to exist in my space.

Does this mean that I've been unhappy? Absolutely not! I just haven't been truly happy because I've allowed so much negativity in my life, in the forms of negative people and their negative energy. I've also held on to a lot of negative memories, thoughts and emotions that have had 31 years to build up and set residence in my spirit. I've been evicting those unwanted residents!

It's a journey, expelling the negativity from one's life. It involves closing chapters that you've left opened for various emotional reasons. It involves removing parts of yourself that you've grown accustomed to -- your habits, your flaws and even what you may personally see as qualities. It involves removing people from your life that don't benefit your spirit. This is the precise journey that I've been on, and the benefits are already making themselves apparent. I'm finding my own happiness and letting go of negative people.

Goodbye, toxic people!

The modern writing industry is competitive and saturated with mediocrity. It's a world of hard work and success, but for others it can be a world of bitter feelings, failure, tears and jealousy -- hence the term "pen envy." It sounds and looks like penis envy for a reason, and that's because it is penis envy. When you're a great writer, a prolific writer, a popular writer or well paid writer there will always be others in the industry who are jealous of your skill. Your pen (or keyboard) is your penis, and you know how to use it. This pleases some, but threatens others.



Pen envy, like penis envy, is perfectly natural. However, natural doesn't necessarily mean beneficial or helpful. When you focus on your envy of other people, their happiness or success, you take important time away from yourself that can be utilized in ways that raise you up to where you want to be. In other words, it's totally okay to express admiration or envy for someone else, but that envy should quickly and organically translate into ambition to achieve your own goals. Envy should never, ever, be a gateway to depression, negativity and destructive behavior -- and it should absolutely never evolve into stalking, harassment and other despicable actions. Unfortunately, there are far too many people in the writing industry (or any other industry for that matter) who simply do not know these important concepts -- and there are even some who do, but they're so consumed with negativity that they simply do not care.

Over the course of my time as a writer, I've learned first-hand just how bitter and envious writers can be over the success of others. All of us are guilty of it from time to time, but in small and ordinary degrees -- such as when something like Fifty Shades of Grey becomes a worldwide bestseller and you feel a momentary pang of hopelessness as you bemoan the plight of being a "real writer" in a world of mediocrity. Or that time when Kim Kardashian's little sisters published a science fiction novel in the same amount of time it took for you to even outline a rough idea for your next short story. Or that time when a poorly written series about sparkling vampires became a Hollywood phenomenon, leaving you questioning your decision to be a writer in the first place.

Most of us move on from these momentary feelings of jealousy and inadequacy, but there are others who either choose to dwell in this negative mindset or some kind of emotional or mental issue is holding them there, rendering them unable to break free from their own mental bondage. These folks also tend to blame everyone else for their negativity and perpetual failure. So you see, it becomes a sort of cycle. In the worst cases these envious and bitter people -- more often than not gripped by emotional or mental illness -- become bullies. I've encountered this more than once, believe it or not, and I'm still going through it.

Screenshot taken from JustMugshots.Com

One of my bullies is Michael Francis Broemmel. Not only were we once colleagues who both wrote for Demand Media Studios, but we were friends -- if you could call it that. You see, in the writing industry, nobody is really your friend. If you're lucky enough to make a lasting friendship with someone that you can trust in this industry, then you've found a four-leaf-clover and you're very blessed. Otherwise, these "friends" are really nothing more but thirsty writers looking to network just on the chance that they might make connections with people who can benefit their careers. Most of the time these friends are posting words of encouragement and kudos to your social media profiles, but all the while they are in the shadows talking badly about you, making up false stories a bout you, etc., etc., and so on -- much like high school, but with grown people who should simply know better.

The problem with Mike Broemmel is that our friendship ended on sour terms because of political differences. I supported, and still do, the Affordable Care Act (i.e. Obamacare). I support President Barack Obama, and I always have. Broemmel foolishly attacked me for this on my private Facebook page where he was added as a friend. I suppose he felt comfortable enough with me as a "friend" to talk to me pretty badly -- with no respect whatsoever -- insulting my intelligence and integrity for being a liberal woman who supports our POTUS, yadda yadda yadda. I did not return his disrespect at first, simply telling him that I did not agree with him, and that it wasn't anything that I wanted to "debate," -- let's agree to disagree, basically. I guess this is when I first realized that there was something wrong with Michael Broemmel. Most people would respect someone else's boundaries -- especially in a political discussion -- and would have backed off. Ordinarily when a person is clearly told that someone is uncomfortable with a topic, they stop trying to pursue said topic out of respect for the other person. Instead of doing any of these things, Broemmel simply became more aggressive and insulting -- leading me to delete the entire conversation from my Facebook profile. I didn't want to "unfriend" or "block" him at the time. I simply deleted the discussion so he couldn't respond anymore. I did this with the thought in mind that he would calm down, and I would calm down, and then we'd just move on from such a stupid discussion.

Instead of taking that hint, Mike began to harass me via private message, and even tried to give himself "the upper hand" by making passive aggressive comments about me not being a good person. We unfriended one another, and I told him to leave me alone. It was then that I found out exactly who and what I was dealing with. I found out that Broemmel was a former prison convict, a disbarred lawyer who embezzled money from the funds of elderly and child clients. He spent time in prison in a case that was in the news in both Nebraska and Colorado media reports. He also apparently had a habit of harassing people on the internet and in person, according to numerous complaints that had been posted against him on RipOffReport, ComplaintsBoard and numerous other sites. When I found out these things about him, while being faced with his cyberharassment (as early as summer of 2013), I treated him very harshly. I let him know that he is a recidivist (harassment is a criminal act), and that he needed to leave me alone. I even reported him to the police in Colorado -- though I do not know if anything ever resulted from my complaints.

As of today, Mike Broemmel has used close to a dozen different accounts on Facebook and Twitter -- including his own personal accounts and accounts associated with his "Torchmark Media" venture -- to harass me, stalk me, bully me and spread malicious lies about me. He has even gone in cahoots with the con people from Taylor Street Publishing (who currently owe thousands of dollars to the writers they've scammed, myself included). He's taken to spreading the false story that I've committed plagiarism (a lie that neither he or anyone else can prove, or even try to, since it's simply untrue). One of his favorite lies to joke about is that I used to be a beauty consultant, or that I claimed to be. This is simply not true. I run a girly blog where I talk about makeup, fashion and women's issues -- and I share recipes for at-home organic skincare. I've never claimed to be a "beauty consultant." These claims are not only false, but Broemmel simply uses them as an opener to his punchline -- which is usually a joke about my weight or appearance. Charming, isn't he? He's even included other former colleagues from Demand Media Studios to join in on his incredibly toxic behavior -- and I was absolutely shocked to find out the identity of one of those people.

Why does Karen care so much about my romantic life?

Karen Lee Banks -- or Karen Lee Willis Ross Banks, or K.Lee Banks, or K'Lee Banks -- is someone else who's been involved with this whole weird cyberbullying campaign. While I don't know how deeply she's involved with this, I do know that she and Mike are close friends and I know that she refuses to be honest with me. I also know that her involvement is deeper than she has admitted. I've uncovered some new information on my own, through cached pages. Let me rewind a second:

     I once said  that I would not publicly "name and shame" Karen. However, I did make a post on my page that referenced the situation with her. I expressed my sentiment about karma, and then moved on with my life. Almost immediately after I made the post (on my fan page) Karen outed herself by attacking me in the comments beneath the post, but I deleted her remarks. She then emailed me the comments that I removed from my page, to further make sure that I saw them (though she knows that I did in the first place, since I had to delete her comment twice on my fan page). Since then, she's pretty much taken every opportunity she could find to smear me publicly while virtually flagellating herself with her compulsive religious posts (the lady posts so many prayers throughout the day her page is like a  virtual prayer closet). Let me explain that her reaction to this situation makes me feel like she's involved far deeper than the few mean-spirited comments she's made about me. That's because I've not attacked her. I've only expressed my shock and hurt feelings that someone who was my friend has been participating in very clear and obvious cyberbullying and stalking. Instead of either proving to me that she's not deeply involved, or instead of being contrite for her admitted and proven involvement, she has chosen to further target me with the same vitriol that she's shown behind my back.

It is because of this that I've decided to show the screenshots of my entire conversation with Karen, as well as the screenshots that I showed her. I'll caption photos to necessary illustrate my feelings with the conversations you are about to see. (Backstory TLDR: "Karina Ross" is an anonymous troll that's been harassing me and members of my family).


























 However, I just want to point out that Karen is, again, being dishonest. I say this because Google Cached pages -- when you search my name and her name together -- this is what comes up:


 Here's some context:

(They infiltrated my course, and left a troll review of one star without finishing more than 2 tests, then left an abusive review, which has since been removed by Udemy. This screenshot shows Karen and the group gossiping about how terrible I am for having the false review removed. I should point out that Udemy sided with me, just like Facebook has sided with me over the dozens of pages that have been removed for cyberbullying)

As you can see, Karen is a former Demand Media Studios colleague, and she used to be a moderator over at the official forums (which were only for writers/editors/etc). I guess I should have known back then that she was the kind of person that she has revealed herself to be. Here is a screenshot of a 2011 conversation we had in which she participated in the trash talk of other writers/editors. She also laid the sugar on nice and thick by bringing up my Gather writing.



So there you have it. That's the sum of what happened between Karen and I. I did nothing to her -- that I am aware of, at least -- and I don't understand why she's felt the need to participate with Mike Broemmel and the other trolls' game of cyberbullying and overall negativity. I'm most offended by Karen's participation because I believed she was a friend of mine, and she remained on my friend list on Facebook where I talked to friends and family members watching my life and then gossiping about me to the people who have tried relentlessly to bring harm to me and my loved ones. I still don't know if I believe that her involvement is as deep as what I've been told, but I know that I have every right to be angry with her, and every right to feel betrayed. She wasn't just some run-of-the-mill cyber troll who latched onto me after reading my work randomly. She was someone who I believed was a friend that I've known (online) for like five years.  This is the most offensive to me -- more offensive than strangers who harass me for my writing -- because over the course of the past year my little sister has also been the target of cyberbullies. Now I have an idea of who's been watching our conversations, and I'm disgusted.

I am sure that Karen Lee Banks and Michael Francis Broemmel are far from the only cockroaches that have scurried in the shadows from the days of Demand Media Studios. While some of my dear friends are still stuck writing for them, I must point out that this place does not encourage success.  The writing industry is already competitive and full of bitterness, but Demand Media Studios tends to make things worse. The relationships between editors and writers are volatile as a result of DMS's rules and protocol, and anyone who dares complain either gets banned from participating on a social level on the DMS forums, or you get canned altogether. Let me tell you, it was so very therapeutic to quit when I sent them all (at Demand Media Studios) a grand "fuck off," email. My life has been better for it. I've been able to actually flourish as a writer and a personality. When I was writing for them I was doing nothing more but pumping out internet spam. Sometimes I made good money with them -- when I wrote 10+ articles a day in tiring work marathons -- but ever since I started blogging my crime analysis things have been far better.

 I believe that this happiness, recognition and success has attracted the bitterness and envy of people like Karen Lee Banks and Mike Broemmel, and that pen envy has consumed them in a way that has inspired them to try to have a negative impact on my life. This is what I mean when I say that you shouldn't let your pen envy turn you into a monster. It's rough out there for writers who are struggling to find their niche -- I understand that. It's tough even when you do find your niche, so it's just rough all the way around. This isn't the industry to be in if you want to get famous overnight, and it's not the industry to be in if you're someone who's been working on "your novel" for the past 15 years. There are writers who have tried and tried and tried for years to make their mark in the history of literature, and very few of them ever actually make that mark. Some of these writers are stuck in online content mills like Demand Media Studios and similar sites, stuck churning out "how-tos" and "lists" stuffed with keywords in hopes of earning $15 to $20, but usually making less per piece. And they hate me because I'm not stuck in that hell right next to them. They hate me because I have a larger-than-life personality, and I'm using that personality to push forward. They hate me because I'm happy with where I'm at in my life, and they are not. That is truly how I feel about some of my former colleagues in the industry who have latched onto me negatively as bullies instead of the friends that they should actually be!

Pen envy can turn you into one helluva bad person. It can make you say hurtful things about people who trust you, and it can compel you to harass the person you envy. Most importantly, pen envy distracts you from your own success and contributes to a cycle of failure. I encourage my former colleagues to break that cycle of negativity and failure. I encourage them to nourish their spirits with something other than negative thoughts and imagery. I will even take the first step and reach out to them in this post with my own apologies to them.

To Mike Broemmel:

    I implore you to heal your spirit and stop wallowing in the negativity that consumes you. Your constant lies, insults, harassment and overall negativity is just as harmful to you as you believe it is to me. In fact, I want you to know right now that your behavior will no longer harm me or my family. We are tuning you out, turning our backs on you as one would do a boogeyman or other imaginary bad guy. I pity you, Michael, for whatever it was that happened to you in your life that led you down this dark path. Clearly you have been troubled since long before your stint in prison, and you continue to be troubled even after you're free. I believe that everyone has the chance to reinvent themselves, and I believe everyone has the potential to become a better person. I've chosen to be a better person, so why don't you?

Mike, I will do my part and apologize for how I talked to you back in 2013 when our friendship ended. While I still defend my right to dismiss your attempt to debate me and change my political beliefs, it was still wrong of me to laugh at you and tell you to "STFU and pay for my healthcare" after I finally lost my temper with you. I should have presented myself better and I should have ignored you when things started getting out of hand. I do not know if things would be different today had I not laughed at you, but I feel that this is what I need to do in order to completely wash my hands of this situation that involves you. Beyond this, I encourage you to find your own happiness. Find your own idea of success. Set some goals and attain them. Stop worrying about my goals, my happiness and my success. Dwelling on me is getting you absolutely nowhere, and the negative energy isn't good for anybody.

To Karen Lee Banks:

     I truly do not know what I did to you to deserve what you've done, and I truly don't know how you feel justified in doing it. I don't know how you can honestly feel justified in participating in obvious trolling and bullying while lurking on my page under the facade of being a friend and colleague. Your mean-spirited comments about me have continued publicly even while I have chosen to remain silent (until now, of course), and I just don't understand how you can think that this makes you look like a decent person. One half of your day is consumed by posting "prayers" and other Jesus freak bullshit, and the other half is spent participating in cyber-trolling and ill-intended gossip, and ever since I confronted you you've been lying to your friends about me while I have done my best to honor what I said to you in the first place (that I wouldn't publicly shame you). You truly are a bully. I wish there was something for me to apologize to you for, some horrible transgression that could halfway justify your toxicity, but there really isn't anything.

     Since there is nothing for me to apologize for, all I can do is simply offer you my advice: Be a better person. Just be a better person. Quit lashing out at me and quit dragging my name into your daily posts. Quit prolonging this painful situation and just move on with your life. Focus on whatever it is that makes you happy -- and find something that makes you happy that doesn't involve sitting around and gossiping about the personal lives of other people. Please use this horrible situation as a lesson on how to be a better person later, and how to be a better friend and colleague to people who trust you enough to allow you to socialize with them in the same space as their loved ones. Get over your pen envy and get over your bitterness toward me and toward others. Like I wrote to Mike in my message to him, I don't know what happened in your life to make you do the things you do, but you have the potential to heal and do better. Everyone does.

Moving on...

I close this post with my hands completely washed of the negative situation created by some highly toxic people. I intend for this story to be an example of what happens when pen envy turns into the habitual bullying of another person, and I hope that others are inspired to avoid this behavior. On the flip-side, I hope others don't make the same mistakes that I've made (and there have been plenty).  Have I said things I shouldn't have? Of course, I have. And I've grown as a person over the years, just like you're supposed to. I truly hope those who have bullied me also grow and evolve, if it is possible.

Don't let pen envy change who you are. Don't let pen envy distract you from your own happiness.

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The Case to Case Podcast is coming back for 2015, with a slight format and schedule change that differs from the past year. There are also changes to how you will be listening (and participating) that are quite different from before. For starters, I am now taking advantage of Google's Live Hangout system for broadcasting the podcast. That means guests can connect with webcams and microphones or just microphones and/or headsets to take part in the show. This will make the format of the show much like when it was hosted by BlogTalkRadio(click here to listen to the past shows), but instead of using your phone, you'll simply sign-in to a Google account (whether it be yours or an anonymous one).  Google Live Hangouts is a far more superior system than BlogTalkRadio's switchboard system -- though I do like the UI on BTR, as it's designed to make you feel like you're working in a studio for a radio station or something to that effect.



Schedules
Every month, around the 1st, but no later than the 5th, I will post a schedule here on the Case to Case blog. The schedule will outline the details of each show for the month (there should be at least four shows per month -- i.e., one per week). Each episode listed on the schedule will come with an active link, which you will need to bookmark (or you can simply subscribe to my Youtube channel so that you're reminded when I go live). Use the schedule to determine whether or not you'll be tuning in to my show to participate with the live podcast, or if you'd rather listen later.

Participation
Everyone is welcome to participate in the Case to Case podcast. During the live shows you will have the option to use the live chat function to ask me questions and make comments if you do not have a webcam or microphone. If you have a webcam and mic, you can jump right into the show and say/ask whatever you want. However, a webcam is not required. You can also jump right in with a microphone. Live Hangouts also has a cool "applause" feature for participants, but I've never used it. In other words, Google has made sure to streamline the podcasting process, eliminating the need for me to use BTR or any other platform.

As always I'm available to hear your suggestions, so hit me up on twitter @CHProfiler or message me via the official Case to Case Facebook page. Also, please don't forget to subscribe to my current events blog CrimeSceneMedia.Com!

All shows air on Sunday nights at 6:00 p.m., PST, (that's Pacific Standard Time). If you're in a diff time zone and you need to figure out the time difference just Google "Time in Nevada," then figure out the difference.




Jan 4, 2015:Is Bill Cosby a rapist?Join the podcast and turn it into a discussion. Did Bill Cosby rape all those women or is he the victim?  Click here to bookmark the event page. Alternatively, you can bookmark the promo page that will also go live here on the Case to Case blog. Or, you know, you can just click the image above this description.

Jan 11, 2015: Serial killer news talk. The latest serial killers and their victims. All serial killer related topics discussed.

Jan 18, 2015: The Heather Elvis case. Who is truly responsible for this missing woman's disappearance? Are the two suspects currently behind bars the ones actually responsible, or are they being railroaded by corrupt police in a region notoriously inept at solving these kinds of cases? Tune in on this special Case to Case podcast and participate via Google Live Hangouts.

Jan 25, 2015: Open mic night. Anything goes, and the discussion can cover pretty much any topic and go in any direction.





If you have any questions or comments about the January schedule, please leave a comment in the comments section below or shoot me an email. To learn more about the new podcast format, click here and read about how you can participate and listen to the new podcast.

Sunday - January 11, 2015

The Case to Case podcast this week was about serial killer Israel Keyes and the crimes he committed. During the show I played a previously recorded interview between the mother of a young man who was wrongly accused in the disappearance of Keyes' last victim Samantha Koenig. However, the interview was cut short due to time, so you may listen to the full interview by clicking here and listening to it on Soundcloud.

Unfortunately the show was cut short due to a lack of time available. I could have gone an hour talking with callers and discussing various things, but unfortunately it had to end. I also couldn't get to the rest of what I wanted to talk about regarding Israel Keyes. So I will be hosting a second half of this show down the road.

My old high school -- no longer in this good of shape.

I grew up in Hackleburg, Alabama for the most important years of my life. I went to the elementary school, and I attended the high school. Although I left before I would have graduated, I was part of the class of 2002. It was a small town -- very small -- home to only roughly 1,000 people. All I could remember while living there was that jobs were scarce, even during the Clinton years. You either worked at Indy's House manufacturing trailers, or you worked at the Wrangler Plant, which eventually closed down. Otherwise there was a grocery store, dollar store, drug store, a couple of gas stations and a butt-load of churches. Hackleburg, Alabama was tiny, the home of Sonny James, my fourth or fifth cousin. For those of you who aren't aware of who Sonny James is, well, he's a country singer who had a few crossover hits back in the good ole days. He's in the Country Music Hall of Fame. Anyway, the correlation I am making between him and Hackleburg is the welcome sign once you enter the town. When I was 10 years old, and I first moved there, it was the first thing I noticed about the town.

Cover of Sonny James

My cousin, Sonny James

An adult hand showing a single transverse palmar crease (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I'm approaching my 30s but sure enough I don't know everything about my body like I should. Do you? It was recently pointed out to me by a dear friend that she and I share a very similar trait. It's called (layman terms) the Simian Crease (also: simian line). It was pointed out because she and I are both Sagittarius by astrological definitions, so it was just another nifty thing in common we have. Silly me, I used to know how to read palms, even though I am an atheist who doesn't take these things with entire seriousness. Why didn't I question the straight line in the center of my left palm? Why did it take me all these years to sit down, look at my palm, and be like"Whoa dude, look at my hands." 

I found myself Googling "Straight line across palm," and that's when she and I found out that it's actually a thing (the simian crease).. and quite a rare thing at that. In fact, it's quite ironic that I possess this characteristic, seeing as though I study criminal justice and I am a crime analyst. Very ironic, indeed! Do you have a simian crease? If you do, you could possess the very same traits that could lead to criminal behavior. Or could you? 

The term "simian crease" is often used as a negative term, but it's also called single radial traverse line among many other technical words that don't really matter for the purpose of this blog. You can Google the actual terms just by searching "simian crease," so do that.

I sent my first letter to convicted serial killer Edmund Kemper a couple of days ago, and I am nervously awaiting his reply -- though I am not getting my hopes up. I've heard that he's very selective in who he corresponds with, so I won't be too shocked if I never hear anything back at all. So I've decided that since my UPS box was $135 for six months (ouch, ouch, ouch) I'm going to write as many prisoners as I can to at least make it worth the money I've paid.

I've compiled a list of notorious killers and serial killers and their mailing addresses, including Christa Pike, Joel Rifkin, Susan Smith (the woman who drowned her kids) Charles Manson and the unabomber. I've heard that at least Charles Manson and the unabomber write back frequently. That's what I like to hear :)

Here's to hoping we begin some learning experiences this spring, summer and beyond!

Glen

I've been asked by people before if I've had a loved one go missing, or if I've ever lost someone I cared about. The answer to both of those questions is yes. Yes I have. I know what it feels like to never have that chance to say goodbye. The following post is about the person I loved and lost to a mysterious disappearance and a tragic death.

His name was Glen, the twin brother of one of my closest friends. Our relationship was brief, even though we had lived together for a while as platonic friends and roommates, but once we were together it was amazing. We never fought, got along famously, and had everything in common.

Unfortunately for the two of us: We were both young and stupid. We partied a lot, were irresponsible, did drugs (I was barely an adult [still a teen]) and lived for the next tattoos on our wishlists. It was because of this that we ended up separated early into our relationship. First it was due to an arrest that put over three hours between us, which may as well had been 1,000 miles since neither one of us had a car. He was jailed on an underage drinking warrant from before we met that had caught up with him, so we were separated for many, many weeks.

I waited for him, and we were reunited after he managed to catch a bus back up to the mountain from the city where he was staying with a sister after his release. Unfortunately, our happy reunion was destroyed when he confessed to me that he had cheated on me not long after his release from jail in Maricopa County. I was devastated. I was faithful to him, and I was confused by him claiming that he loved me when he was willing to ruin it all with casual sex with someone else.

I left him then, immediately moving on to a rebound relationship -- which proved to be nothing more but a launchpad into a series of terrible relationships with abusive men or men who simply were not good for me. And in a matter of two months I was still unable to forgive Glen when he spoke to me on the phone, wanting to "come see me," from the valley where he had moved after we broke up. I told him no. I told him that I had moved on with someone who wasn't a cheater and a liar. Told him that I never wanted to see him again.

I was lying. I loved him still. I missed him. But I was hurt. I didn't know that this would be the very last chance to speak to Glen. I was so hardheaded and unable to forgive him then, that I didn't care about how my rejection had actually hurt him, and I heard it in his voice as he muttered his goodbyes, hanging up the phone.

Nearly a year of time passed that I had not heard from Glen. I moved back in with my family in the mountains after leaving another boyfriend, one who had harmed me for several months. While recovering from that relationship I began to miss Glen, and wondered where he was. I wondered if he was in Phoenix or if he had moved back to New York where he was from.

Unfortunately, I was not the only person wondering where Glen had gone. He had been missing for many months by the time I returned home. Nobody knew where he was, not even his twin sister, and they were closer than any two people could be. They were best friends who doted on one another and who never went longer than a month or so without talking. When I learned that he had not even talked to Tammy in many months, I felt lost. I felt empty. I felt a combination of so many feelings mixed with so much confusion that it is just impossible to sum up in words. I truly know what it's like to feel so completely helpless when you can't find someone, when you don't know how to even begin looking.

All any of us could do was hope that Glen would just walk up one of our driveways carrying his big green duffel bag, like he had done every time he traveled. 

Many more months passed. I am not sure how many months went by, but I grew restless on the mountain. So I left. I met a new boyfriend -- who also turned out to be a douchecanoe -- and I moved to Hollywood, California where I continued being completely stupid, young and irresponsible. I pretty much lived at bars, which were serving me illegally since I was barely 20 years old. Life was just about drinking, drugs and reading tarot cards for money to drunk people and hanging around the worst neighborhoods in H'Wood and Los Angeles.

I was at "The Chicago Bar" when I found out what happened to Glen.

The Chicago Bar was a small indoor-outdoor bar that was stuffed into a strip mall that made up of tattoo shops, a donut shop and a Chinese restaurant. It was where I spent pretty much every single night to the point that every bartender knew me. I was friends with all the bouncers. Even the owner of the bar knew me, giving me my own table out on the patio that was always available. It was usually a place where I watched bands performed while reading tarot to the pub regulars.  But that night I was told by the bartender that my 'mum' had called and she sounded upset. I was told to call her immediately, so I jogged to the payphone a building away, stuffing I-don't-remember-how-many quarters into the thing since it was a long distance call and I didn't have my own mobile at the time.

When she answered, she didn't waste any time telling me that Glen had been hit by a car just days prior, and he was in a vegetative state. She told me that his parents were pulling him off of life support just shortly after identifying him -- for he was listed as John Doe in the hospital where he was rushed after the horrible accident. I still do not know exactly what happened, but he was possibly hitchhiking back to New York where his mother was. The accident took place in Virginia when he was crossing a busy highway. The accident was just that: An accident.

His life, for the numerous months that he was missing, is a mystery. Did he have a girlfriend? Was he happy? Did he miss me or his family like we all missed him? I have no answers. I have nothing but ashes tattooed into my back to remember him. And I know that no matter how impacted I am by this loss, his twin sister has been rocked to her very core -- barely able to recover and move on with her life after losing her other half. When someone you love goes missing, I don't think you ever, ever, ever get over it or move on. It's something that sticks with you forever. The same certainly goes for when they're found deceased or fatally injured. It's something that never leaves the back of my mind. I know it never will. 

Taylor Street Publishing, i.e. Kathleen and Tim Hewtson, have taken to some pretty slimy tactics to retaliate against me. They're mad that I made them pull my book, and they're mad that I publicly admonished them for being the con artists that they are. Now an image is circulating around the web claiming that they chose to pull my book over plagiarism, among some other far out claims. You can look at the image on this blog. Basically, this is the claim they made to get my book removed from Amazon, but Amazon only pulled the book based on the contractual dispute between us. In other words, neither one of us could prove -- with an attorney -- whether the contract was valid or not. So the title was removed from Amazon and barred from being published by either me or Taylor Street, for now.

Let me quickly explain that all one needs to do is Google Taylor Street Publishing, Kathleen Hewtson or  Tim Hewtson and you will learn immediately that these two owe a lot of writers a lot of money. They've ripped off multiple writers, including me. They're criminals, plain and simple.

Over the course of my time collaborating with Kathleen, she never wanted to talk in email. I had to fight to get her to do business in writing. She always insisted on phone conversations. I now figure this was to protect herself. Unfortunately for her, I have plenty of emails that prove she and Tim are lying con artists who are now trying to smear my name as retaliation for exposing their criminal behavior. If you haven't read all of my posts about these people, the emails may not make much sense to you, so I recommend searching on the blog for the rest of the posts to catch you up to speed.

First of all, here is the most important email (pictured below). As you can see, they agreed to pull my book and revert my rights back to me in late 2013.
The book was quickly removed from Amazon, but Kathleen and Tim republished it two days later and pretended that this agreement never took place. They even tried to alter the agreement once by claiming that I wouldn't get my rights back until 2015. They later tried to claim that these messages were faked. Of course I forwarded all of their own emails back to them and they eventually stopped responding to my emails once they realized they weren't getting out of this.

Note that she claims she is only in promotions, but she tells Amazon that she is the CEO of this fake publishing co.

FYI: I didn't retaliate against a negative review. It was brought to my attention that someone who trolled the page with a negative review had also reviewed sex toys and 50 Shades of Grey. This was something we all laughed about on my personal social media page.

Sunday's podcast (1/18/2015) was about the Heather Elvis disappearance. Since nothing has changed since the last time I addressed this case, there wasn't much to cover. However, the aunt of suspect Tammy Caison-Moorer called the show during the live broadcast and she shared her opinion on the case while arguing that Tammy and Sidney are innocent of any wrongdoing.

Unfortunately, the audio for the phone call was not working well, and I was unable to loop her voice into the recording. I apologize for this operator error and promise that I will try not to make the same mistake next week (or ever again).

Thanks for taking the time to listen to the podcast and to read the blog. Until next time (!!) ...

Society in general is conditioned to believe that narcissism is a negative thing, and in many cases it is certainly negative. It can be an underlying psychosis possessed by criminals who spend their time committing crimes with little to no regard for the victims they leave in their paths. It can also be the cause behind the selfish deeds of average people who may not break the law, but who have no qualms about hurting others emotionally. Examples of this could be the serial philanderer who uses women sexually with no care for their feelings, or the seemingly heartless parent who abandons their child with no second thought to pursue their own selfish goals without children. There are two sides to every coin, however, and not all narcissism is negative. In fact, narcissism can be a healthy and positive quality if utilized in a way that doesn't truly harm anybody.

Very few people realize the positive benefits of having a narcissistic personality, which could be attributed to the idea that modesty is a virtue, while vanity is a flaw. This largely comes from religious teachings -- in particular most creationist religions demand modesty, and therefore anything that isn't modest is judged and chastised. This is especially true in regards to women, who are expected to be chaste, modest, subdued and only vain enough to please their husbands. This keeps them prepped for lives of caring for those around them, while mostly ignoring their own needs and wants.

Healthy narcissism keeps us balanced. While there is definitely such a thing as negative and unhealthy narcissism as a behavioral disorder, it's also true that the absence of a healthy self-esteem is just as damaging to one's psyche. Robbing one's self of a healthy self-esteem doesn't stifle narcissistic urges. Instead, it stifles your own personal growth. This is why it's important to recognize and harness narcissism in a way that empowers you. Psychology Today affirms that narcissism doesn't have to mean "selfish,""unfeeling," or "callous."

Healthy narcissism can inspire success. Call it the law of attraction if you'd like, but people who think more highly of themselves -- and believe it -- tend to do better in business and in their careers than those who don't. It seems like common sense to realize that a low self-esteem and constantly negative or self-loathing personality do not necessarily inspire success. Narcissistic people are also usually more focused on their own goals to fall into a rut or cycle of failure, unlike people who are perpetually depressed or who are constantly downgrading themselves.

Narcissistic people know that you must love yourself first, before anyone or anything else. If you can't love yourself first, then how can you expect to have your shit together well enough to love anybody else? How can you be prepared to be loved? The failure to understand this may be why so many marriages end in divorce.